truth.. aint it a bitch

damn it.. seemingly born with a heart of a investigative journalist, a seeker..
unquenchable thirst. insatiable hunger.. for more information.

so life's been a journey of questing information, truth, and coping, with frequent dead ends, unanswerable questions, misinformation, lies, propaganda.

fragments. fyi.. I think in fragments.. phrases.. going to practice capturing those. not having to wordsmith everything. elaborate. Ill come back and elaborate that which strikes my fancy. but today I want to fish.. in my brain.. for stuff... get it out while I can. document.

emotions. I cried today.. it was good thing.. I don't cry enough. I get blocked, stuck, bottled up. pent up. life is hard today, different, not hard like scratching an existence out of the dirt, hunting for my next meal.. but hard because I'm force fed lies 24/7... lies about government, lies about products, lies from co workers. hards because the world I live in..the community I share with others.. people.. civility.. breaking down. a century of materialism and consumerism.. has created a nation of self absorbed zombies.. umbilical cords tied to smart phones, and an incessant need for acknowledgement, for satisfaction of needs they can't identify or satisfy.

so I bounce like a pinball, off endless bumpers, obstacles... and try to satisfy my own unidentified needs and desires. avoid the zombies when possible. break off a piece of serenity. quietly.

calm. peace. quiet. let go...